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Jesse: Hey everyone, it's Jesse McCartney! I'm here at Aaron's studio in L.A. and I'm about to be interviewed.
Aaron: Alright.. the queen has arrived!
Jesse: Queen?
Aaron: [Blushes] You better not include that in the x-kel-OO-sive interview ONLINE!
Jesse: No way, bro. [Laughs]
Aaron: So, man, here we are again. I'm so thankful-- I mean glad. Glad. I'm glad.
Jesse: Can we start?
Aaron: Yeah! How are sales going on your new album??? [Snickers]
Jesse: Fantastic! My loyal fans are proving to be more loyal than ever. It's been such a hit I just want to send out a thank you. THANK YOU!
Aaron: So, how's it goin' down with you and Emily?
Jesse: Man, this is a sensitive topic for me!
Aaron: Why?
Jesse: The truth is, y'all, Em and I haven't been doin' so well! I come home all the time, I try to call her all the time but mah gurl isn't respondin' like she used to! It's so... unbelievable. And to think, just about a year ago, Emily and I were sitting in a hot tub muching on chiken tendahs! :(
Aaron: Ha ha...
Jesse: EXCUSE ME!?? [Holds up fists]
Aaron: SORRY!!! [Hides]
Jesse: Anyway, go on, bro...
Aaron: I hear you're looking to record another album. When's the release?
Jesse: Well, man, it's set to come out in 2012. I want this one to be a hit. It's going to be a four disc album with songs that I've written and recorded. It's going to be like, you know, a stripped album. No intruments, no editing, just me, bein' real.
Aaron: So, basically you're saying you're going to make a four disc album of acapellas???
Jesse: Uh, NO!
Aaron: Are you going to be nude on the cover?
Jesse: No. I'm going to be fully clothed.
Aaron: Have you started working on this album?
Jesse: Are you kidding??? I've been working on this piece o' hotness since 2003 and BOY have I been working! I can give you an exclusive lyric piece if you want.
Aaron: Okay.
Jesse: Here we go... [Clears throat] Baby, baby, babe, uh uh, yeah, yeah.../ I see you waltzing down the isles/ Of your local gro-shur-E store/ Can you see me? / Doing a price ch-E-K on the/ new deodorant we just got in/ [Chorus] I s-see you, girl, b-buying something a lil special/ I-is it f-for m-me?/ Yeah, uh uh, yeah/ Come on over h-here, baby [Emily]/ Yeah, yeah, yeah.../
Aaron: What the fffffffff----------
Jesse: Pardon me?
Aaron: What a great song!
Aaron: Yo dawgs! This is A.C, no, NOT AIR CONDITIONER, Aaron Carter! I'm here today wit my brotha, Jesse McCartney. Hey, JMac!
Jesse: Yo, bro! It's cool to be here.
Aaron: And an honour to be EXCLUSIVELY INTERVIEWED by a CARTER?
Jesse: Sure.
Aaron: Cool, mon! So, tell your fans (and me!) some news of your new album.
Jesse: It hits shelves September 19th 2006, so GO AND GRAB YOURSELF A COPY, FANS!!!
Aaron: Tell us some exclusive stuff about it!!!
Jesse: Well, I started recording the whole album in early 2004, very exclusive information. The expected release date was actually June 27th, 2008, but things changed. I put a lot of hard work into the music and the writing of the songs. It's going to be amazing.
Aaron: Who inspires your music?
Jesse: My current girl. She's the love of my life, I know that. Emily, babe, I love ya!
Aaron: Grrr.
Jesse: What?
Aaron: Nothing. Tell us about your new movie "KEITH".
Jesse: It's an INDIE FILM, so it's going to be R-E-S-P-E-C-T-E-D. It's, it's... really somethin' else. I wish Emi would've been in it wit me as my girl. See, Keith is an amazing film about this guy named Keith who meets this really, really HOT BABE (not in my eyes though) and they fall madly in love. Except, so many obstacles are put in poor Keith's way, making it almost impossible for him to tell her how he feels. Keith, at first, felt he was 'too manly' to be in love, until he met her. He felt... so.. safe with her. Some of the obstacles in the movie include hair loss, shaving difficulties, wardrobe malfunctions, and so many horrible things!!!!!
Aaron: I heard there was a hair dryer scene.
Jesse: Oh, my God! Yes. The hair dryer scene. Oh, it was awful. I mean, well, I did a fantastic job like I always do, but what I HAD to do was awful. I, as Keith, was blow drying my hair and then suddenly MY HAIR STARTED GETTING ALL PUFFY! (Don't worry ladies, it's a wig!) and then I used all this damaging hair spray, which belonged to my love interest in the movie.
Aaron: I recently heard you were going to write your OWN movie and ACT in it, too!!
Jesse: Oh, YEAH! It's going to be awesome. It's going to be about me and Emily, actually. It's going to be about how we met and fell in passionate love. I knew from the moment I saw her hazel eyes that.. she's the one. The one for ME. It's going to show you WHO helped me get through the tough times, WHO gave me my inspiration, and everything. It's going to be a romantic/drama movie.
Aaron: When's it expected?
Jesse: 2009!!!
Aaron: Thanks JMac!
Jesse: BUY MY NEW CD, RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT ME!!!!
Jesse: Hey everyone! Jess here answering a fan's questions to me. What a lucky girl you are to win such a contest to visit ME! [Primps]
Girl: OHMYGOD!!! I'm soooooooooo thrilled!
Jesse: Right. Get on with it, k?
Girl: Is it true you wear underwear to bed ONLY???
Jesse: Only when it's really hot outside-- er... not really, I mean.
Girl: Do you shower NAKED?
Jesse: Uhh.. who doesn't?
Girl: [Passes out]
Jesse: Uh.. yeah... check out my hot website lykjesselyk.piczo.com for more!
Aaron: Wow!!! Fascinating. Too bad it won't happen to you in real life, then Emily would come back to me!
Jesse: Pfft, A.C.
Aaron: RIGHT. Next question. What do you think makes you such a 'ladies magnet'?
Jesse: Everything about me. I've got great hair, eyes, breath, noes, lips, butt, legs, arms, feet, hands, y'know, man, EVERYTHING!!! I'm all natural, too, and that's something people are just drawn to. I also have a fantastic personality, people love me.
Aaron: I recently went to one of your performances, mon, and I noticed something. Your pants fell down while you were doing that long note.
Jesse: OH, that was just.. such a HOT moment for me! I don't mean hot as in blushing, but hot as in I know the ladies liked my 'JESSE MCCARTNEY IS SO HOT' boxers!!!
Aaron: wtf!?
Jesse: ...?
Aaron: SO, UH, how come your previous relationship with AMY LEE didn't work out?
Jesse: That's an interesting question. Let's see, Amy was a nice emo chic but I really couldn't stand her scent. It's like... she NEVER bathed! It was so DISGUSTING. I mean, I smell better than her EVEN WHEN I SWEAT LIKE A MAN!!!
Aaron: How'd you dump her? I heard she's clingy... [gulps]
Jesse: She was SOO clingy. She wouldn't let go of my legs, it was soo nasty!! What I did was I told her, "Look, Amy, you smell like garbage and that's just soo ew. We can't be together anymore because you smell so bad." But Amy didn't give up. She tried bathing, but slipped in the shower and broke her butt, two ribs, and her leg. She was in the hospital for months.
Aaron: Soo?
Jesse: I went to the hospital and I told her we couldn't be together. Amy just laughed at me though, and I didn't get WHY! So I asked her why she laughed. She told me she didn't need me and she found a new man, Michael Jackson. I was like 'Oh, plz.' and SCURRIED TO THE STORE TO BUY MORE HAIR GEL!!!
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